I Wanna be her stupid boyfriend
by RSparkles
Summary: Barney tries to ask Robin out via. a phone call, but he's so nervous he can't even talk properly. Will he ever be able to tell her how he feels? (Set around season 4)
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, this is my first fan fiction, so I am sorry if it's really bad & English is not my 1 language, so I'm sorry again if it's messed up. **

**This is taken from ep 1, season 4 (Do I Know You)**

**BTW. I do not own How I Met Your Mother **

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><p>Barney had never been so nervous to call a girl before. Usually he would just call a chick he met on the bar to hook up with her, but this was different. This was a call to Robin. The most beautiful woman he knew existed. It was not an ordinary phone call where he asks her if she'll be at Maclaren's, but a call where he asks her out.<p>

He was so afraid of what she might say. She would probably think he was joking like always, but this was so not a joke.

He heard the phone started ringing. "It's ringing," he said to Lily. "Beep…beep…beep".

Suddenly he became more nervous than he had ever been before. He felt like his whole body was shaking. His heart definitely pounded faster than ever, faster than it does when he bangs other chicks. His hands trembled and it felt like his whole body was soaked in sweat. What was he supposed to say?

"Hello, this is Robin. I can't answer my phone at the moment so please leave a voice mail after the beep. BEEP."

He panicked. He had no idea what to say and now it was on voicemail. "Ahmshsahsamhfm" was all that escaped his mouth before he realized he probably should end the call before it went too far. He put the phone on the table in front of them and pretended nothing awkward just happened.

"She wasn't there, I left a voicemail," he said while faking a smile. "You left a voice, but it wasn't male."

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><p>Robin was just checking updates for a Vancouver Canucks game when she realized Barney had left a voicemail. Even though she didn't really have time to listen to it, she felt she had to. She wouldn't admit it herself, but she kind of missed his handsome voice.<p>

"Ahmshsahsamhfm" she heard him say. She had absolutely no idea what he meant about this. Was this some kind of joke? She couldn't just leave her phone here without talking to him, so she just had to call right away.

...

"Robin, great to hear from you," he said in some sort of sexy voice. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" He asked. She didn't know why she worried about him. She was at work. The most important thing in her life and she decides to take 10 minutes break just to talk to this guy.

"You called and went sahhayhahaaaahah and hung up. What do you want?" She could hear his adorable laugh over the phone. OH MY GOD! Did she just think his laugh was adorable? She tried to ignore the thought, but she wanted to hear him laugh like that again.

"How are you feeling today?" he asked in another sexy voice. She didn't know why he did it and she kind of wanted him to stop, 'cause it made her blush and she hated it. She didn't want anyone to see her face turning red while she talked to someone over the phone.

"Fine," she answered him while pretending to look through some documents on her desk.

It was silent for a second before he asked her "at what age did you first get your period?"

She almost dropped the most important document on the floor. Why did he want to know that? Maybe this was some kind of prank call after all.

"Did you just ask me about my period?" she asked in a curious voice. "No I did not."

Of course he did. He couldn't possibly think she'd believe him. He'd just wasted 10 minutes of her day by calling her to know about her period. That was not what she was hoping his reason for calling her would be.

"Look, Barney I'm at work right now." She said ready to end this stupid call. She should've never called him in the first place. She'd just wasted a lot of time.

"Um…Robin I was wondering if…nothing gotta go, bye." And he hung up.

That was not exactly how she wanted the call to end. She still felt like there was something he didn't tell her.

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><p><strong>Hope you liked it. I'll try to make a new chapter soon. <strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**This story will be a little longer than I expected. I hope you'll enjoy it. **

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><p>"HA HA…HA, that was just a practical joke. I'm not really in love with Robin. You should have seen the look on your face. There are cameras right there and there and there…"<p>

He turned away from Lily when he was about to say something else about the awesome joke, but suddenly it hit him. He couldn't lie to her anymore. He wanted to be with Robin so bad and Lily was the only one that could help him, but on the other hand he didn't know if he could be honest.

He headed for his bedroom door and continued what he was saying. "AGGHH, What a legendary prank we're never…"

He was about to change his mind again. Of course he should tell her the truth.

"We're never…Aggh, who am I fooling?" He said with a slight change in his voice. Without even thinking about it he turned around to look at Lily who seemed confused.

"Tell me Barney. Are you, or are you not in love with her?"

Seriously? Does she really need to ask? He thought she could sense stuff like that a hundred miles away.

He still didn't know how to say it to her. Later that day he had said he didn't want to be her boyfriend, but now he realized he was wrong.

He leaned in to the kitchen counter and looked at his red haired friend. "What I told you earlier today is not true."

Before he had the chance to say more she yelled, "SO YOU'RE NOT IN LOVE WITH HER?"

"No, not that, the thing about not being her boyfriend. I…I wanna." He swallowed. What he was about to say next scared him.

"I wanna be her stupid boyfriend." He said desperately with his childish voice.

No, he had decided earlier that he wasn't gonna use that voice. He sounded so selfish, but when it came to Robin he was selfish. He didn't want any other man to touch her, especially not Ted.

Lily quealed in excitement and reached for her phone to call Robin.

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><p>Robin sat by the table wondering where the rest of the gang could be. They were 10 minutes late and she wished she'd used at least 5 more minutes on her make up.<p>

"Hey, Scherbatsky," she heard a familiar voice say. She looked up at him and immediately felt shivers through her spine. Her heart started to pound faster, but she ignored it.

"Hey Barney. Where's the rest of the gang?"

"Lily said they couldn't come. Some kind of emergency she wouldn't talk about and Ted's with Stella."

Oh my god, Barney and her alone in this expensive restaurant? She wasn't sure if she was pleased about it. Who knew what they would end up doing.

She decided to ignore all the feelings she had for him and pretend like she was out eating dinner with a really good friend. Which she was by the way, but it felt strange. It wasn't normal to be nervous when you ate dinner with a really good friend you'd known for 4 years.

"So, Robin. Tell me about your day." Barney interrupted her thoughts while he filled their glasses with wine. "And not just what happened. How you felt when it happened."

The way he acted scared her. He sounded so happy and satisfied. It didn't seem like he cared that they were alone in a fancy restaurant where most people went on dates. He looked her in the eyes when she talked to him. He wasn't distracted by the hot waitresses who passed them. He didn't even care when a waitress had her breasts just inches away from his face. He kept his eyes on hers all the time. It seemed like he was there just for her. And that's when it hit her.

This wasn't just two friends having a nice dinner together. This was more like a date.

She was on a date with Barney Stinson!


	3. Chapter 3

**This took really long time to write and I'm not sure if I like it. **

**I hope it's not too boring. **

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><p>The dinner couldn't have gone any better. He'd been so extremely nice to her and they'd had actual conversations with each other where they'd talked about almost anything that came to their minds without being interrupted by any of Barney's famous phrases or hook up lines.<p>

He'd even made her promise him to apply for the new job on the cable network.

But what surprised her most was that he didn't make any jokes about Canada, after all her lame stories about her past as a young Canadian pop artist.

He'd acted like a gentleman all night, and she thought he deserved something back from being so nice to her.

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><p>"To taking chances," he said when he leaned his back to the bar and raised his glass to make a toast.<p>

"To taking chances," she replied and raised her glass while she looked into his beautiful blue eyes.

Yes, she thought his eyes were beautiful. They were so shiny, blue and perfect. Oh my god, she thought his eyes were perfect!

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><p>Her smile was the most beautiful smile he'd ever seen before, and to know he was the one who made her smile like that tonight felt awesome.<p>

He wasn't sure if he could be here much longer without telling her about his feelings, but it was so nerve-racking. What if she didn't feel the same way? She would probably just laugh at him and say that he had to stop with his stupid jokes.

He immediately started to feel nervous when he decided to tell her. He took a small sip of his drink and decided to get over with the whole 'I'm in love with you thing'

"You know Robin, there's actually something I do wanna talk to you about."

He was about to say what he had been waiting for so long, but then the bartender had to come and interrupt.

"Last call"

OMG! That is so annoying. Why couldn't the bartender wait one minute, just one minute.

"Of course it is," Barney said disappointed and turned back to Robin and asked "One more for the road?"

"Yeah, why not? Hold that thought." She jumped off her chair and went to the ladies' room.

He thought of 100 different ways to say he's in love with her while she was gone. He knew that when she came back he would say it as fast as he possibly could. He didn't want more interruptions. He wanted her to know how he felt and she had to know it tonight.

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><p>"April, Haaave you met Barney?"<p>

"Hey Barney," the girl said.

"Hello"

Barney was so confused he didn't even listen to what Robin said about this girl named April. He knew what she was doing and he didn't like it. He had come up with the perfect way to tell her his feelings. He was supposed to just say it as fast as he could and then say it for a second time and hopefully kiss her at the end, but now this April girl had to come and ruin everything.

He took Robin's arm and dragged her away. "What are you doing?" He had to ask even though he knew exactly what she did.

"You were so nice to me tonight and I just wanted to return the favor. Wing woman style."

Barney rolled his eyes and felt really lost inside. Here he was trying to tell the woman he was in love with that he wanted to date her, but it all just turns out wrong. She's not supposed to be his wing woman tonight. He might have wanted her to be his wing woman before, but that was definitely not enough anymore.

"So, as I said April. Barney is the new Yankees second base man and Barney, April asked if you tomorrow could hit a goal for her during the baseball match."

Wow, she was definitely the best wing woman a man could have.

"Have fun," she said and left them alone.

Barney couldn't believe she just left him like that. He didn't want to end up with another random chick on his bed the next morning.

"So, you're nervous about the game?"

He'd almost forgotten the girl Robin introduced him to. He didn't even remember her name anymore even though it was just a few minutes since he first heard it.

He laughed and decided to play it cool. "I'm nervous for the other team..."

He saw Robin leaving the restaurant. Why did she have to leave without him? Why couldn't he just leave with her.

"Look, whatever your name is. I'm not a New York Yankee and I'm in love with the girl that just left, so I'm just gonna leave." He said and walked quickly out.

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><p>She couldn't believe she'd set him up with someone. She knew he would be thankful, but she kind of regretted it now.<p>

They could've gone home and played battleship. Not the best version of battleship, but the other one.

Why did she introduce him to...what's her name again? She seemed to forget names just as quickly as Barney did.

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><p>She was halfway in the cab when she heard a voice.<p>

"ROBIN!"

She turned around and saw the blonde man with a suit running over to her.

He seemed exhausted like if he'd just finished a marathon.

"Why were you running?" she asked him.

He looked her straight into her eyes. She could hear her heartbeats beating faster and she was nervous for what he was going to say next.

"I've tried to tell you all day, but I didn't manage to, so I'm just gonna say it really fast."

He took her hands in his and it didn't feel weird at all. It was almost like her hands belonged there.

"Robin, I don't want you to think this is a joke, because it's not." He looked at her like if he wanted an answer.

"Okay," she managed to say without sounding confused even though she was really confused right now.

"I am insanely in love with you Robin, insanely in love with you."


	4. Chapter 4

**I hope you like this this chapter and if you think it's bad, please tell me. **

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><p>Robin didn't know what to say. She just looked him in his eyes and realized she felt relieved. She hadn't admitted it herself before, but now she felt she had to. He'd just told her he was in love with her, and by the way he looked at her she could tell it was real.<p>

She definitely felt the same way, but it came like a shock. She'd noticed something was different with him, but she did not think this was the reason.

His fingers entwined with hers as he stepped closer. So close she could feel his breath. And it felt good. She'd missed this. She remembered the day she invited him home to watch "Sandcastles in the sand" and they'd ended up in bed together. She'd tried to forget it, but she realized that was simply impossible. They weren't bad memories. They were great memories and she kind of wanted to relive those memories.

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><p>He regretted he hadn't told her before. It felt so good to finally say it, but he was still scared of what she would say. She just stared at him and gaped.<p>

He couldn't help but smile. She was just too beautiful. He wanted to hug and kiss and do all kinds of intimate things with her. He was sure that if he kissed her now, he wouldn't be able to let go and he knew he had to wait 'til he knew how she felt about all this.

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><p>They'd probably been staring in each other's eyes for at least 10 minutes in silent before she embraced him.<p>

It felt so good to have her in his arms. She smelled like heaven to him, but he was still nervous about her answer. He felt nauseous and scared of what she would say even though she seemed happy.

He could feel her breath on his neck as she slowly moved her mouth to his ear and whispered, "I'm in love with you too."

He'd clearly heard what she said and it was the best feeling he'd ever felt before.

He put his hand on her hips and drew her even closer to him.

"What did you say?" he asked with the biggest grin on his face.

"I'm in love with you, Barney." She answered as she slowly moved her face so she could look him in his eyes.

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><p>She'd just told him she felt the same way and it was true. It was probably the most honest thing she'd said in months.<p>

She couldn't believe she was here, standing in front of him, looking into his beautiful eyes with his strong arms around her and admitting her feelings for him.

It was like the best dream ever. If she closed her eyes now, to open them and realize it was all just a dream she would definitely scream of anger.

He stroke her soft hair with his left arm and used his other arm to pull her closer to him. She could feel her heart was about to explode. She'd never experienced her heart beating so fast before.

She definitely needed to taste his lips now, but he hadn't made a move yet. What was wrong with him? He just stared in her eyes while holding her close. Didn't he want to kiss her?

Before she could think more she was all over him. She didn't exactly know what happened, but she knew she was the one who started it.

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><p>Her lips met his and she could feel the love when he kissed back, but he quickly moved away with the biggest grin she'd ever seen on a man's face.<p>

She couldn't help smiling back to the gorgeous man in front of her.

It didn't take long time before he pulled her back to him to kiss her again. His hands touched her body with such affection she didn't think was possible for a human being. He leaned further into the kiss and it became more intimate. His hands were under her coat and moved down to her hips as he pulled her closer to him. His tongue stroke over hers and it was so good she didn't want it to stop.

"HELLOO!" she heard a familiar voice.

Barney looked over her shoulder in disappointment. They'd been in their own little world right in front of a taxi and what a coincidence. It was Ranjit's taxi.

"Hey, Ranjit," he said while holding his hands tight around Robin's waist.

"You need a ride?" Ranjit asked and smiled like an idiot.

Barney didn't even answer. He pulled her in with him and his mouth was quickly on hers after they'd closed the door.


End file.
